A Naughty Story阿顽皮的故事

Article source: http://phfft.com/ . 文章来源： http://phfft.com/ 。 Used with author's permission. 用作者的许可。

For the first 8 months of her life with us, Sugar, our Jack Russel Terrrier, was a notorious shoe thief.对于前8个月她的生活与我们，糖，我们的杰克罗素Terrrier是一个臭名昭著的鞋小偷。 Our shoes would disappear and then show up in the yard, chewed and scruffed and unwearable.我们的鞋将消失，然后出现在院子里，咀嚼和scruffed和unwearable 。 To our great financial and emotional relief we finally broke her of the ugly habit, and she hasn't stolen a shoe in a long time.为了我们伟大的财务和感情的救济，我们终于打破了她的丑陋的习惯，她还没有被盗的运动鞋在很长一段时间。

Now jump ahead.现在跳领先。 Picture this:图片如下：

Roxanne's sitting on the sofa after work, getting ready for aerobics class.罗克珊的坐在沙发上下班后，准备健美操类。 She has two socks on, but only one shoe.她已经把两只袜子，但只有一个鞋。 The other shoe is on the couch beside her, gleaming white, pretty and new.其他鞋是在沙发上她的旁边，闪着白色的，漂亮的和新的。 Her good workout shoes.她良好的训练鞋。 Bought special.买特殊。

Sugar lays at her feet.糖奠定她的脚。 The phone rings.电话戒指。

While Roxanne's on the phone I come into the room, take in what's happening, and get a brilliant idea for a good joke.虽然罗克珊的电话我来到了房间，采取在发生的事情，并取得辉煌的思想有一个良好的玩笑。 I'll hide her shoe.我会隐藏她的鞋。 Sugar will catch the blame, of course, but I'll 'fess up before any real trouble starts.糖业将赶上的责任，当然，但我会'手术之前的任何真正的麻烦开始。

I sit on the couch and while Roxanne's distracted on the phone, I slyly tuck the shoe under my t-shirt and make a slinking exit from the room.我坐在在沙发上，虽然罗克珊的心烦意乱的电话，我slyly抱膝鞋在我的T恤，并作出slinking退出了房间。 I'm feeling very clever.我感觉很聪明。

I go into the bathroom to give the dog a bath, and I hide the shoe on the top shelf behind some unused beach towels, for just the few minutes needed to play this joke out.我去到浴室，让狗洗澡，我的鞋隐藏在货架最落后一些未使用的沙滩毛巾，仅几分钟需要发挥这个笑话了。 This is going to be funny, at least it will be to me.这将是有趣的，至少这将是我。 Roxanne will get pissed, I'll laugh my ass off and reveal the hidden shoe, and Roxanne will pretend to get pissed all over again, but she'll be smiling too.罗克珊将得到撒尿，我会笑我的屁股起飞和揭示了隐藏的鞋，和罗克珊将假装撒尿都得到一次又一次，但她会微笑着太多。 This won't be what I'd call a great joke, but it ought to be worth a grin.这不会是什么我想请一个伟大的笑话，但它应该是值得开心。 Making someone else momentarily miserable usually is.让别人暂时通常是悲惨的。

Everything goes according to plan -- except for one thing.一切按计划进展-除了一件事。

I totally forget the shoe.我完全忘记了鞋。 I forget the joke.我忘了的玩笑。 I forget everything.我忘记了一切。

After giving Sugar her bath I am called away to go pick up Shelly from band practice.糖后给她洗澡，我要求离开去拿起雪莱从波段的做法。 Roxanne's still on the phone when I leave, and she's gone to the gym when I get back.罗克珊还是在手机上时，我离开，她去健身房时，我回去。 I never think about that shoe or the intended joke again.我从来不认为这个鞋或打算再次笑话。

Don't misunderstand.不要误解。 It doesn't just slip my mind the way some things do.这不只是我心中滑的方式做一些事情。 It goes away like it never happened.它消失喜欢它从来没有发生过。 It never creeps though my thoughtpaths.它从来没有蠕动虽然我thoughtpaths 。 There was no shoe.没有鞋。 There was no joke.没有任何玩笑。 Nada.纳达。

That is, until today.这是，直至今日。

It's now about one month later.现在，约一个月后。 Here we are, Roxanne is cleaning shelves in the bathroom which haven't been dusted in awhile.在这里，我们是，罗克珊是在清理货架上厕所尚未在一段时间的灰尘。 Now she's exclaiming, looking addled and angry.现在，她的叫着，寻找怪僻和愤怒。 Now she's stomping her feet and making a lot of noise.现在，她的踩踏她的脚，并做了大量的噪音。 Hands on hips, steely intent in her eyes, demanding from anyone, from everyone, an explanation for a found shoe.手放在臀部，钢铁般的意图在她的眼里，任何人的要求，从每个人，解释了发现鞋。 A bright white brand new never-worn aerobics tennis shoe, size six, retrieved from a high shelf.甲亮白色崭新的永不磨损健美操网球鞋，大小6个，可从一个高架子上。 Thelook on her face tells me this situation is very, very dangerous. Thelook在她脸上告诉我，这种情况是非常，非常危险。

So I do the only thing I can do.所以，我做我唯一可以做。

I say the only thing I can say.我说我只能说。

"Bad Sugar! Bad, bad dog!" “坏糖！坏，坏狗！ ”

Print this page 打印此页